Today is the best day to disconnect from people, move away from the outside world, deepen in your own thoughts, isn’t it?
Yesterday, when you went to bed you thought that when you wake up in the morning everything will be alright, but you woke up feeling even more miserable?
It feels like the time has stopped and everybody else is rushing somewhere, setting goals, achieving, laughing, building relationships, and you’re standing like “Why am I not happy?”, “What have I done wrong?”, “Why can’t I take control of my life just like other people do?”
You’re tired of people, things that you normally like doing, things that you hate doing, goals, needs, duties, beliefs… Why is everything so complicated? Yesterday you said to yourself: “I want to make my life better, I will start exercising, waking up early, doing my hobbies, etc.” but you’ve failed, haven’t you?
Well, happens. I’ve been there myself, and here are the strategies that helped me regain control of my life when I was broken.
Self-analysis is the core foundation of problem-solving which will help you identify your problem and tackle it effectively. What does it mean to analyze yourself?
Analyzing your emotions, feelings, and behaviors is the first step to taking back control of your life because it helps you understand what went wrong.
Usually, the problems don’t exist. At least, not in the sense we portray them. As emotional human beings, we love to exaggerate our problems and make them seem larger than life. This is why any problem analysis should start with the identification of the causing factors which are our reactions and emotions for the most part.
“It’s not the world that is pressing on you. It’s you who enjoys doing self-sabotage whenever possible and then forcing the world to support your belief”
When I lost my job, I didn’t start blaming myself or the manager, I just analyzed what went wrong and made sure it will never happen again. Even though I live with my girlfriend and we both need to eat, and I also need to pay for the rent and everything, the job loss did not knock me out of the line.
I did not associate myself with the work. I never do. If you bind yourself to something that you do it will break your heart when you lose it. Love is the only exception for me because I want to make sure it’s real, and it’s coming from the bottom of my soul.
I found another job in a week because I know my skills, and I know that I qualify. I used the typical procedure which I describe in this article “How to Get A Job Without Any Knowledge And Experience In That Field”
When you’ve finished analyzing the problem, you should not do anything to take control of your life back. Go with the flow for 3-7 days. When something bad happened or has been repeatedly happening over a long period of time, you shouldn’t be doing anything to fix your life quickly. Your emotions and beliefs are still raw which may result in a nervous breakdown or unnecessary anxiety.
It’s okay to get back to the regular duties that you do every day. Thus, if you go to school, college, or work, you can just keep doing what you do without overthinking too much.
I’ve already told you about overthinking. Usually, thinking too much does not help you solve your life problems. What it does is it’s draining you to death. Thinking too much makes you burn out very quickly, and then you start feeling wasted. You don’t want to cultivate self-hatred for not doing anything, so don’t think – take action.
Do your regular things and duties until you feel empowered enough to take over another challenge of changing your life for the better and regaining control of your life.
After reading this article, you may feel like you’re ready to rock – don’t. You haven’t yet realized anything. I know that you want to keep yourself busy, so I’ll give you another tip that helped me concentrate on myself and get my life back on track.
When I was totally devastated, I usually practiced self-hatred which resulted in a not very positive self-esteem drop or continuous complaining and emotional self-destruction. Stop it.
Anytime a bad thought had crawled into my head I would force myself to shift my thinking from negative to positive.
The most significant effect on my thinking was in doing exercises. I’m not speaking about regular exercises and sports, but you can do that when you feel most miserable.
According to Anxiety and Depression Association of America, physical activity helps you reduce stress by 14%. The most effective activities are walking, running, and yoga which reduce stress and anxiety by 29%, 20%, and 11% respectively.
When bad things happen to you, and you feel like you’re losing control of your life you can always share your feelings and emotions with your nearest and dearest such as your friends or family.
Usually, our family members are bad advisors as well as listeners who may not always understand us, so I’d recommend talking to your friends.
*Important: YouTube videos and articles can help you overcome the bad times too, and usually bloggers are the best mentors because they’ve been there themselves and they overcame the problem similar to yours. This is why they share.
It’s also vital to point out that you can overcome your problem by simply sharing it. This is what women do. While men try to solve each other’s problems women simply talk themselves out and feel great.
At last, find a hobby that you enjoy or stick to the hobby you already have. The idea is not to be the best at what you do, but simply to fill in the space of having too much free time.
If you have too much free time your life feels uncontrollable because you just waste all of your time on something insignificant. A month or year later you find that you haven’t achieved anything in life.
Moreover, you feel like the free time is pressing on you so hard that you don’t even know where your anxiety and depression come from. So, finding a hobby that you like will help you make small improvements over your craft and track your progress. Suddenly, you’ll find that you’re open to more creative things in your life and you’ll take control of your life back.
And if you feel like you already hate your hobby you can also check out this article right here: “When Your Hobby Becomes A Pain in The Ass: How to Get The Passion for Life Back”
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